About the toasting thing ,I agree they may have had a recent article that pricked their conscience BUT more than likely it was a matter of being in front of other onlookers . Witnesses are commonly hypocritical in my experience . In private around family they will do and say things they would never do in front of others . Clinking glasses with family definitely sounds like something they would do ,but in front of others the whole thing falls under the catagory of 'possibly stumbling others' . So please don't take it as a personal slight of you and your husband ,but rather just another of their Witness quirky weird beliefs . They can not honestly think for themselves the pressure from others always influences their actions .
Sadly as for the negative attitude of his Mother ....yes again very typical JW response . They always must keep the doom and gloom before them as a reminder the end is soooo close . I always try to turn the conversation back to a more postive spin whenever my Mother in law does this to me (it really confuses her )
I am sorry they make you feel like second class citizens .....again in my experience very common behavior . To them it is a world of them against us mentality . They do feel like 'special' people chosen by God and everyone else is Satans little helpers .
His familly needs to be kindly reminded often that you deserve respect as much as they do . Spell it our clearly now before any more time comes goes by how and what YOU expect from them . Tell them it hurt you at the wedding about the toast and WHY ....explain they led you on that toasting was not a big deal to them ,and make them explain themselves on their hypocritical behavior ......If these slights are not brought to their attention they are going to continuse on treating the both of you as second rate .Explain to them how and what you have done in the past to respect their beliefs ,and then tell them it is time for them to do the same for you . Some people have to have it spelled out to them ! It can be done in a calm adult manner just imagine you are explaining Earth customs to an alien
I am sure they love you and their son ,and they really don't want to cause you hurt and pain . They really have just been allowed to get away with bad behavoir for so long they no longer realize it is unacceptable to other people . Other witnesses just take it for granted that they can behave like this .....they need to be aware how uncomely it is to you in order for them to change . Use tact ,but stand up for yourselves .
On a whole other issue your husband really needs to take the blinders off . Suggest that he join the forum .
